My trainer is a jerk.

I don't know how many of you are aware of this, but I'm currently in training to be a therapy dog. I have about a month of training left. Sounds cool right?  Yeah, it isn't. Not at all.  This idiot trainer doesn't let anyone horse around with me anymore! We used to have so much fun!  Now I'm expected to just lay around and shake hands with people like a gentleman.  I'm a puppy!  So I like to jump up on Michael and nibble on his fingers.  What's the big deal?

 

I can't wait to be done with this training. Five more weeks...

Godfather

Yesterday I went sailing. Why anyone thought I should spend five hours in a life jacket on a sailboat is BEYOND me. These fools were HYSTERICAL if they thought I was going to walk on those rickety docks. NICE TRY. If you want me to hang out on a boat, you can carry me to it.

In other news, I officially got a godfather. I live in the most italian neighborhood in Massachusetts. I was the only guy on the block without one. But that issue has FINALLY been resolved. The interview process was grueling and I appreciate the background checks and screening, but these morons should have had this squared away WELL before I arrived at their house. I'd hate to see how they handle "real" life issues if they can't figure out something as simple as this. Pathetic.

Oh, and they got drunk and changed my middle name to "Jenna". Winston Jenna? I assume I don't need to comment further.

Willie

I don't know who this "Willie" character is that my male roommate is always talking about, but I'm really starting to get sick of it. He keeps talking about how much cooler, smarter and better his dog Willie was than me. HELLOOO??? I CAN HEAR YOU MAN... It's always Willie this and Willie that... If you love Willie so much, why don't you marry him?