Want to know what's so cool about the tall ships?

Nothing.  Nothing at all. There is NOTHING cool about the tall ships.  They're just old boats with crews made up of D-list sailors who aren't capable of handling real assignments in the Navy so they float around on old boats dressed up like idiots.  Nice costumes, guys.  The only people more pathetic than these morons are the thousands of fannypack wearing clowns who come to MY neighborhood to gawk at the boats and try to pet me.  Stop trying to pet me on the street. I don't like you.